Cars 2: NR review #3

Finally! back to sitting into a comfy seat with some great, tasty, buttery popcorn. I just wish it was for a movie I really wanted to see. Yes, this is the first "Forced to see a movie for the readers" review and that movie is....

Let's begin..

PLOT

We begin our story in Radiator Springs with Lightning Mcqueen just getting back from winning his 4th Piston Cup and he just wants to spend time with his best friend, Mater. But, after Mater gets Mcqueen involved in a fight with the famous Italian race car, Francesco Bernoulli, Mcqueen gets involved in a Grand Prix around the world and brings Mater along with him. While they are at there first stop in Towkyo (GET IT!?) Two spie cars are there looking for an American spie who has some information on new plot to take over the world. Mater is mistaken for this spie is taken away to help them find out whats going on.


PROS

The animation is AMAZING as always for Pixar.
There are SO many references and continuity that they actually follow in this movie. You don't need to see the original but you might get a few more chuckles.
There is a pretty obvious "Ratatouille" reference that no one but me seemed to find. It was one of the few chuckles I got out of this movie.
Bruce Campbell, my hero, makes a brief cameo as the American spie.


CONS

This movie is WAYYYYYY below Pixar standards. It feels like a lazy straight to dvd Disney sequel that somehow got to the big screen.
There is 1 maybe 2  funny jokes in this WHOLE MOVIE. It's mostly terrible car puns and fart jokes. The only things I laughed at were small, short chuckles at tiny things in the movie.
The Pixar short "Toy Story: Hawaii Vacation" before Cars 2 had the audience laughing more than the actual movie. Including me
The movie should have been called "Cars 2: Mater's Spie Shenanigans" cause that's what it is. Mcqueen is barley even in the movie.
There would be long stretches of Maters story and then out of nowhere, it would switch to Mcqueen being sad about telling his friend to grow up.
BRUCE CAMPBELL WAS UNDER USED!!!
The spie stuff was very, VERY badly done, non of it was exciting or cool, even the great Micheal Caine couldn't make the spie plot cool.
If you are above the age of...6 months in the womb, then you can figure out who the villain is long before they reveal it.


CONCLUSION

I could go on for hours about why this is bad. When I first came out of the movie I thought "That was...ok. Not great but...ok" But the more I thought about it the more I disliked the movie. And being directed by the man who started pixar and directed the first 2 Toy Story movies, John Lasseter, just makes the blow even worse.


RATING

DRIVE AWAY!!!! (See, I can make bad car puns too.)

Evil Dead II: Dead by Dawn CR Review

(CR stands for Classic Review)

Well, because of my laziness I will not be reviewing Green Lantern this weekend or *shutters* Mr. Poppers Penguins. Instead I'll be doing my first CLASSIC REVIEW!!!!!! Which is...





Let's Begin...


PLOT

The sequel to the 1982 cult indie classic The Evil Dead, Evil Dead 2 picks up...after the first movie where we follow Ash (Bruce Campbell) and his girlfriend...Forgettable Character #1 as they go to the same abandoned cabin in the woods from the first Evil Dead for a weekend trip. Things are fine until Ash finds a creepy book with a monster face on it, a dagger, and an old tape recorder. On the recording, a professor who was researching the book says the words that awake the..EVIL DEAD!!!!! Now, Ash must survive the night so that he may escape.


PROS

Now from the plot, you may think this a hardcore horror movie, well it kinda is. 25% is horror and great suspense, 25% is comedy, 25% is gore, and 25% is Bruce Campbell beating the crap out of himself! The atmosphere in this movie is great. The long scenes of suspense in this are scary and leave you on edge. The comedy is also hilarious. It's like a Three Stooges short in the middle of horror movie, It's GREAT!  This movie also has some of the most awesome lines in history. Here are a few examples..

• Groovy
• WHO'S LAUGHING NOW!?!
• I'LL SWALLOW YOUR SOUL!
• toolSHED
• DEAD BY DAWN, DEAD BY DAWN!

And many more. There are some awesome gore moments and action scenes. Because these are daemons anything could happen, ANYTHING. There is even a scene where every object in a room starts laughing, The lamp, the cabinets, even the books! That's only one of the crazy things that happen in this movie. Bruce Campbell steals the show as Ash, this may be his best role ever.


CONS
There are many, MANY things in this movie that are introduced but are never explored or used. One is Evil Ash. At first it seems scary, but it's only used two times in the movie. Also, Halfway through the movie, 4 new characters are introduced and only one of them has an important role, if only for a few minutes.

CONCLUSION

To end this review I'll say this, Evil Dead II is not for everyone, but everyone should give it a try. Try to get your hands on the DVD. The reason? it comes with a hilarious commentary from the director Sam Rami (Spider-man 1-3) Bruce Campbell, The Producer, co-wrighter, and special effects designer.


RATING

RUN TO

Super 8: NR review #2

This week I'm reviewing an homage to 80's Spielberg movies like The Goonies and Indiana Jones called...


Let's begin...



PLOT

Our story begins in 1979 in a small Ohio town where we follow a group of friends, Joe Lamb, Charles, Cary, Preston, and Martin. making Charles zombie movie on a Super 8 comera (GET IT!) As they are shooting at a Train station they witness a Micheal Bay style train crash when a pick-up truck runs into the train. After the crash, wired things happen start to happen around town. People and dogs go missing, Car engines are missing, and holes randomley appear in gas stations. The military soon gets invloved and people start to get suspicous, like Joe's dad, who is a police officer. Know the kids start to investigate whats going on, mainly Joe (our main character if you coulden't tell) while STILL trying to make their movie. Love, Anger, and answered questions insue.


PROS

The child actors are great, and none of them are annoying, I can't believe it either! Elle Fanning, who plays the love intrest, is the one who really stands out. There is even a scene where they basically show off how great of an actress she is!

The action scenes (espically the train crash) are all AMAZING very fun to watch.

The alien is not revelied in the first 10 minutes. It's revelied VERY late in the movie. But this also a con, more on that later

The movie kept me engaged with many mysterious and twist.


CONS

The bulid up to the alien is to big, so when you finally see the alien, it's kind of let down. Not a big one, but still disapointing.

This movie has a lot of the same problems many J.J Abram movies have (he did Star Trek and Cloverfeild) mainly the constant lens flare (basically when ever a light is in the shot bright, distracting lines are all OVER the screen)

TO MANY SH*TS!!!! What I mean is that the kids, espically the Fat one, constally says "SH*T!" and there were a LOT of small kids in the theater. The scene where the train crash happend, sh*t was said almost COSTANLY.

CONCLUSION

Either way, this was a very fun, action packed summer ROLLERCOASTER! while does have it's cons, It's still a good movie, not great, but good

RATEING

WALK TO


P.S. I was saw a review for this movie before I left for the theater and they came up with a drinking game you play with your soda

TAKE A SIP EVERYTIME:
1.  one of the kids says SH*T
2.  there is loud noise, EXAMPLE: whenever the alien hits something or during the train crash and something explodes

I did this and my cup was half way full by the end of the train crash!

X-Men First Class: NR Review 1

(If you were wondering, NR stands for "New Release")

Welcome to my first review, which, of course, is...

X-MEN FIRST CLASS!!!!!! Let's Begin

STORY:
We begin are plot in 1944 in a Nazi camp where a a young Eric Lensherr AKA Magneto (Micheal Fassbender) Who is just discovering his mutan powers, the ability to bend medal. Our main villain of the plot, Kevin Bacon playing...Evil Kevin Bacon who is an...evil Nazi who wants to harness Erics powers and use them for...Evil Kevin Bacon stuff. We also see a young Charles Xavier AKA Proffesor X (James Mcavoy) Who has the power to control or read peoples minds who befriends a young Raven AKA Mystique (Jenifer Lawrence) Cut to the 1960's during the Red scare ara where Eric is off hunting and killing Nazis while Charles is at Oxford useing his powers for the worst evil of all, picking up chicks (Oh No!). He is soon asked by the goverment to stop Kevin Bacon. Xavier soon starts recuriting mutants to help stop Kevin Bacon, one of which is Eric. They soon become great friends. But when they discover that Kevin Bacon is trying to start WWIII (Thats World War 3 for those who don't know)! Know they must band togeather to stop Kevin Bacon and keep the USA and Soviets from killing each other.


PROS

The movie is a great way to start out the series because it answers almost all of questions as to how or why something is in the first X-men movie. Mcavoy and Fassbender to a great job as Proffeser X and Magneto and their friendship is very believable. You see both sides of the argument of wheather to save or kill the humans. Beast and Mystique represent the two sides of the arqument in this movie and also the audience depending on which side they take. While most of the characters are not that well deveolped (Emma Frost, Angel, or that black dude who is the first die, just like in all movies) This movie is not about them. It's about Pro. X and Magneto and how thier relashonship begins and ends. Also, the way they handle the "Traning" montage in the middle act of the movie was really well done. Another thing, The comedy in this movie was pretty funny, I laughed at almost every single joke in this movie, not that there is alot of it. And the action, OH MY GOD the action was great. The thrid act of this movie was AMAZING. my jaw dropped so many times I can't even count. They were also shot well, none of that shacky cam "CAN'T SEE WHATS GOING ON" crap here (I'm lookin at you Expendables). And even though Emma Frost wan not needed in this movie AT ALL, She was very...um

CONS

Once again, A lot of the characters were not well developed, like Kevin Bacon. Speaking of Bacon, his motavation was pretty weak. The CG was...OK. It was a lot better than Wolverine, sure, but it just looked to much like CG sometimes. The best uses of it were with Magneto and any flying character.

CONCLUSION

Over all, First class is not a movie you should miss. It has action, drama, and...Emma Frost. Fun for all ages 8 and up.

RATEING: WALK TO

Thanks for reading.