Total Recall (2012): NR #30

Why do we have remakes? I'm honestly wondering, because it seems that movies that actually need remakes, whether they are out-dated or could have been done better, never get'em, and the movies that everyone loves or has seen get the unnecessary remakes. While I've never seen the original, Total Recall is one of the most revered Sci-Fi action films in the last 20 years, It's so well loved that I know most of the famous scenes and quotes just from people talking about it. Today's film is a remake of the Schwarzenegger classic. It's...

     Let's Begin.

PLOT

After a devastating nuclear war, the only habitable places left on the planet are the U.K. and Australia. Over-population is major problem and the most valuable resource is living space. Douglas Quaid is an average-joe who's been married for seven years and works a mundane job in his mundane life. He decides to change things up a little by going to Rekall, a device that can put memories in your head and make it seem like you actually did it. Before the procedure can begin, the police bust in the door and Douglas kills everyone in the room. He soon finds that he's a spy that had his memory wiped, and that his wife is actually an agent sent to kill him. Now Douglas must find the truth about himself, but the question remains, is all this real, or is this all caused by Rekall?

PROS

The movie has some amazing special effects. The CG guys put so much detail into everything, you just want to watch this movie in super-slow-mo so you can see every little detail.

Kate Beckinsale as the fake wife/agent, steals the show. Her fight scenes are the best and excels as a cold-hearted agent who won't let anything get in her way.

Bryan Cranston, Walter White from "Breaking Bad", plays a generic villain that would be very forgettable, if he wasn't having so much fun with the role.

CONS

All of the characters are paper-thin and make them almost unlikable. I never cared for anyone because they never went beyond their first scene exposition, some of the main characters don't even get that much detail. The most interesting character is Beckinsale, so I was basically rooting for her through0out the whole movie. 

The action scenes, while amazing to look at and have interesting ideas, aren't because you don't care about the characters. The one set piece that was remotely exciting was one involving elevators, but only because I have a fear of heights.

The whole "What is real and what is Rekall" mystery is poorly done. They bring the question up like twice, and every time they do, they find a way to disprove it. The one time it is actually interesting and started to get me thinking, is literally shot in the head and makes the scene pointless. 

CONCLUSION

Overall, this is a boring, uninspired action-flick that can't even get the action right. The most exciting thing about the movie is looking at all the special effects and the lost potential. But there is one thing this movie contributed to film. It showed us that you can show breast in a PG-13 film, as long as it's three or more. 

RATING

RENTABLE.